fics i eat for breakfast
and drink some warm milk afterwards
(Open, Moderated)
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"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the no-good, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Forget this. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to save himself from his awful destiny.
Series
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Braided Realities by I_Have_An_Alibi, ScorpioNoesIt
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP (Fandom)
19 Aug 2025
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Tommy was just trying to get away from the vanguard of murder robots. He did not mean to fall from the sky and break most of his equipment (including his bones). And now he's been kidnapped/adopted by a beanpole, a wingman, and a pig. Help.
Phil and Ranboo are just chillin' in Techno's house when a tiny feral version of Tommy falls from the sky. Which shouldn't be possible because, according to Ranboo, Tommy died in prison. He's got weird armor, weirder weapons, he just tried to stab Phil, and- oh, okay, he blasted a hole in the wall. Lovely.
None of these people know what they're doing, and the child just brings more angst, fluff, and shenanigans than anyone thinks is possible while also kickstarting a mass emotional healing arc that no one knew they needed.
OR
Dystopian resistance sci-fi Tommy falls through a portal and gets adopted by the Syndicate. (And yes it's adoption, because Phil.) -
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“Tommy?” The man says, his hand still wrapped around Tommy’s wrist, and Tommy falters, whipping his head around. “Are you- Is it really-?”
Tommy blinks. Stares. Squints a little.
At the back of his mind, it sinks in that this is a familiar face, a friend.
Who Tommy met two hundred years ago.
(Or, SBI are immortals just having a life, and Tommy is a time traveler who’s been wandering for quite a while.)
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Prince Tommy is an enigma—underestimated, unknowable, self-assured, and powerful.
Until, one day, he isn't.
A story about familial love, friendship, manipulation, magic, breaking rules, kicking ass, an ancient legend, an unholy sacrament, and a secret that will someday make the Beginning indissociable from the End.
(OR: The one where Prince Tommy elaborately pretends not to be the intelligent little BAMF he really is, and ends up getting bit in the tail for it.)
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TommyInnit's Services for Villains, Vigilantes, and Various Other Vagabonds by I_Have_An_Alibi, ScorpioNoesIt
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP (Fandom)
21 Aug 2024
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Everybody knew about the tiny apartment on the East End of L'manberg, hiding in a far corner of the lower districts.
A place everyone was welcome, regardless of their given title.
Where villains could come for medical treatment.
Where mafia goons and bosses could rest without the need to look over their shoulders.
Where vigilantes and heroes could have a nice chat over tea.
Where treatment (and treats) were given out freely.Where societal tags (and their due expectations) were shot and murdered at the front door.
And if you ignored this rule, you too were shot and murdered at the front door.
By whom was a gamble.Everybody knew about the tiny apartment on the East End of L'manberg.
Everybody also knew that if you touched any of the occupants, well...
You'd have the entirety of super-powered society (underground and otherwise) gunning for your head.Tommy Innit, the owner of said apartment, lived quite the interesting life.
Seriously, he just wanted to bake cookies, what just happened?OR
5 times Tommy dropped everything to help everyone else, and 1 time they dropped everything to help him.
Recent bookmarks
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I'd Trade My Life for Yours by grayimperia
Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
30 Dec 2018
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[Major spoilers for all of V3]
Her classmates have just chosen Saihara as the killer by a margin of one. He finally reaches out to her, and she looks back at him. And Monokuma says something that absolutely shocks both of them to the core.
“Welp! Looks like you guys got it right!”
Kaede’s world stops.
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Three different sacrifices are made, and three different survivors stumble out of the rubble.
Series
- Part 1 of I'd Trade My Life for Yours
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 398,589
- Chapters:
- 42/42
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 2,410
- Kudos:
- 10,041
- Bookmarks:
- 1,212
- Hits:
- 446,353
Bookmarked by papavera
26 Apr 2026
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LOVE kaede i read this a while ago but one of my all time fav long fics
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Zanka is tasked with keeping Jabber from running too wild in his new position with the cleaners. Jabber is a ball of excess manic energy. Daily fights are a little unsustainable when there are trash beasts to be defeated on a moment’s notice.
And since their relationship has been evolving, it's a no brainer. Jabber is a masochist. Zanka has a dominant streak. Easy peasy. It shouldn’t be too different from all the times before.
Except, as usual, Zanka is a fucking wild card. Sex never felt hazy or vulnerable like this with any of the strangers that make up Jabber’s sexual history. Jabber is used to pain, but treated with roughness and care in equal measure is new and very disarming.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,014
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Comments:
- 772
- Kudos:
- 2,495
- Bookmarks:
- 439
- Hits:
- 47,551
Bookmarked by papavera
15 Mar 2026
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this was phenomenal one million trash beasts out of ten absolute banger
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Enjin is a grown man. Yet, he complains, throws tantrums, whines, clings, teases, and pouts, worse than any child. He is immature and irresponsible.
Gris has to deal with it every. Single. Day. No matter what the poor supporter tries to correct Enjin's behaviour, it remains futile.
Until it doesn't.Or,
Gris fucks some manners into Enjin
Bookmarked by papavera
20 Feb 2026
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fucking 10/10 enjin ragebait fantastic
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r/dating_advice how do i get my bfs family to like me by lucidreverence
Fandoms: Gachiakuta (Manga), Gachiakuta (Anime)
28 Dec 2025
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They've been dating for six years and counting.
Really, more like six years, seven months, and twenty-three days, but realistically, who's interested in all those nitty-gritty details?
Not Jabber, that’s for sure.
The important thing is, despite being twenty-three and having been lovey-dovey for all six years, never once has Jabber ever interacted with Zanka's family.
Actually, that's a lie.
He's met his family a grand total of maybe thirteen times, albeit each time ended up with them breaking down into a bloody brawl- not the type of interaction Jabber would exactly consider “getting to know your beloved’s family”, but hey- everybody starts somewhere, right?
Actually, the more he thinks about it, the more he’s mildly miffed.
Six years, and no proper introduction?
or
jabber wants to marry zanka and his journey to get the semi-approval of zanka's family (team akuta/the cleaners)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,572
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Comments:
- 682
- Kudos:
- 3,586
- Bookmarks:
- 716
- Hits:
- 54,818
Bookmarked by papavera
16 Feb 2026
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love how janka is written here banger
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“You’re a half-blood.”
Lewis took exactly three seconds to blink at Nico, one to shoot a look at their ringleader, and a fifth to swing.
His fist collided with Nico's nose with a satisfyingly sickening crunch. The fucker had called him a half-blood. Half, like they were back in the olden days or something. So what if his dad was Black and his mom was White? Didn't change shit. He was still Lewis.
Nico staggered back, hissing through his teeth, one hand clamped over his face. Blood snaked down his wrist, coiled off his chin, and splattered against the asphalt—pat, pat, pat. Lewis watched it go, itching for a second round. Fucking prick. Served him right.
"Say that again," Lewis growled. "Say it again, you fucking—"
Mark stepped in between them before Nico could recover, palms up in a weary mate, come on gesture.
"What Nico meant to say," he grumbled, "was that you're a demigod."
Bookmarked by papavera
28 Nov 2025
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oh My god this is so peak. i havent read pjo in a million years but this genuinely does read exactly like some kind of prequel to the heroes of olympus. love characterisation